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[17 Feb 2009|11:41pm] |
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So Im sitting here on the verge of breaking down.. what do you do when your forced to remember the countless moments you wish you could just erase from your mind. when everything you hear or see reminds you of your stupidness. I hurt more than i ever have and im not to sure what to do. I know not to bottle this shit up. but when you lose the ones your closest to who can you really tell? im actually scared im going to repeat history and end up back where i was. and i dont think i could do that. not now, im gonna be 20 that stuff was stupid shit i did in high school, i grew up, yet everything seems so similar...
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[22 Dec 2008|01:58am] |
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Recently I can't help but think of where my life is going to go after I leave college. Yes, I realize that it is a year away and that is IF I decide to stay with what I am currently enrolled in. Personally I am debating taking a business course after this program or maybe going to the University for human relations. At the moment I am sort of designing a few things to raise awareness about Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia; wallets, purses debating drawing up a few shirts. I am really into raising funds and awareness about these diseases that not many people know much about or don't understand. The issue is... how do you make a dream turn into reality, how does a little girl so scared of the world stand up and try to educate a world? Or ask for support on something? I think this is what I want to do. If not as a job, as a hobby
..... hmm... I might actually have finally planned something for my life. =)
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| Help |
[10 Aug 2008|03:53pm] |
So im thinking of getting my hair cut and coloured again. and usually it has been in an angled bob. which personally i like but i need a change.
Im thinking i want a pixie cut but not crazy short with some different low lights and colours. and i think it might look good on me but im not sure... any opinions would be greatly appreciated. if you have another style that might look good I'm up for suggestions
Please help me out
Much love
<3
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| you make me laugh; you make me cry |
[30 Jul 2008|01:43am] |
I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared
It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My dear
The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not comin back
You're taking seven steps here
The seven things I hate about you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The seven that I like
The seven things I like about you
Your hair
Your eyes
Your old Levi's
When we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You made me laugh, you made me cry, but I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine when we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
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[25 Jun 2008|12:08am] |
I refuse to lose you
As the days go on i see you slipping further and it terrifies me. you repeat your questions and sometimes cant recognize who i am. I have seen so many fall into this terrible disease i have watched them lose the ability to talk i have fed them and now i am forced to watch you follow the path to the horrible death of your mind.
I will be here to hold your hand, I wont let you forget yourself.
I love you so much. you were my rock. and now i will be yours<3
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[17 May 2008|02:49am] |
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Solid Night... needs to happen again <3
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[12 Dec 2007|01:29am] |
maybe we've drifted so far we will never get back to where we were.
.... maybe you dont even care.
i hate growing up. and growing apart
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[23 Oct 2007|12:23am] |
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And I wish things could go back. Back to when they made sense
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[07 Jun 2007|05:26pm] |
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Im losing you. and i cant stop it. we have been best friends all highschool. we cant let this get between us. I dont want to lose you. maybe it would be best if we stop hanging out but id rather have the frustration and the fights than not have you in my life.. just remember ill stand up with you forever <3
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[22 Mar 2007|07:44pm] |
So its been a while since I updated, and i figured itd be fun to do one of those stupid guess who im talking bout things.
1. Honestly you annoy me. and you dont even know it because you are so cocky that you dont realize what you are doing half the time, sure im your "friend" but really i think i just want to punch you. you are hurting people and that is deffinetly not cool. hmmm go jump off a cliff? thanks
2. You are possibly the best thing in my life right now. you are always there to talk to even if we are fighting. I know im difficult but i still make you smile. Its taken us a long time to get where we are but im kinda hoping we dont lose it. I am so afraid i will screw up and i cant loose you again. I dont know how i would handle it. <33
3. You my darling are my bestest friend. and are truly beautiful... even if you cant see it. We have been through oh so much, from band camp to lighting hands on fire. to boy problems all the way to running around a random campsite hiding from the park rangers with strange boys. but you have to admit even with our stupid moments and stupid fights we still have fun. and you are deffinetly someone i will never forget.
4. you treat me like a little kid. but still scream at me to grow up. I wont let you do this to me anymore. i can stand up for myself now and im not going to take your crap any more. Im done. You say i should move but that would mean being closer to you and that is something i dont want. You think im lying but guess what just try to pull one of your little stunts on me . this time ill hit back. you fucking ass.
5. i dont see you as much any more but man do i miss you. we had some pretty sweet times. and although we still talk our friendship is becoming more distant. and you arent even that far, Im thinking this should change soon and we get some deffinate chillage time in soon before you leave me again : { ps. we should have a pop fight again...
6. sitting in the middle of a street infront of a certain boys house anyone???
<<333
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[05 Jul 2006|10:32pm] |
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Im done! Im so tired of playing this fucking game and just dancing around like nothing happend...like it didnt mean anything, well it meant something to me! your a fucking ass is what you are, really im glad your leaving so EFF YOU
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[26 Jun 2006|06:09pm] |
so summer 06 finally here! i was looking forward to it till today...turns out i have to go to summerschool for math :( even though i didnt fail... stupid Corrado!
o well gonna have fun any way
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[14 Jun 2006|08:56pm] |
AMBER CALL ME !!!
that is all
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[08 Jun 2006|03:57pm] |
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what the fuck. to find out this now. to find out that you went behind my back to tell him all this. for that to end up being the reason for why he wont even talk to me. to find out it was one of the main reasons we broke up. sure im moving on but to find out we probablly could have worked things out. FUCK YOU! i still love you but right now im a little pissed to find out you went behind my back. that you are closer with him. that you told him all of this shit.
w.e
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[07 Jun 2006|10:08pm] |
Comment with with your name and I'll tell you what I think of you.
100% Serious.
I won't lie, because I don't have to.
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[27 May 2006|08:57pm] |
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. So send this to all of your friends in the next 5 minutes and a miracle will happen tonight
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
~anonymous~
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[22 May 2006|08:00pm] |
RIP NATHAN
you were an awsome guy and right now i just dont know what to say...besides why?
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[16 May 2006|09:13pm] |
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<<<333 .... i heart a boy
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[14 May 2006|08:59pm] |
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[06 May 2006|11:21pm] |
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ok... so i lied being single sucked, i could stand it for a while but i just got tired of it i miss him, i hate how awkward it is when hes at my locker talking to amber and carolyn and im just standing there watching him flirt... or just random see him with other girls... it makes me want to die on the spot. I shouldnt like him but i do and i dont know why! why is it so hard to move on? every one else does most people enjoy being single but not me i cant. one of my darkest fears is to end up alone, what if that actually ends up happening? i'll end up alone wiht a million cats. FUCK THIS. i hate that im this upset over a boy. what is wrong with me?
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